Well, to my surprise, at the 11th hour I chose a version of my query letter that I could live with, pasted it in an email and at precisely 8 AM hit SEND.
Got the email reply telling me I was in.
I realized that as a writer you have to put yourself out there and risk negative, er, constructive feedback. We all have to do it. It's just a part of the learning curve.
As a non-fiction writer for years, I must say that my articles have always been printed almost verbatim based on what I submitted to my editors. That is what makes it difficult for me now; I am not used to people making comments about my writing (at least not that I can hear, ha ha).
But my query is there, awaiting feedback, comments, criticism, whatever the case may be.
And I'm ready. How else can I see what I need to improve, right?
UPDATE: I've gotten some feedback and it is totally what I expected. My query needs to be tightened up (which I think I've just about nailed). My first 150 got some very good reviews, so that makes me happy. Can't we just skip the queries and go straight to the MS? *sigh*